


Survivor's Guilt

by Castiels_Eyes



Category: HBO War, The Pacific (TV)
Genre: Angst, M/M, just a whole lotta angst buddy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-15
Updated: 2017-03-15
Packaged: 2018-10-05 12:25:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10307627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Castiels_Eyes/pseuds/Castiels_Eyes
Summary: When Sledge is stricken with grief over the death of Ack-Ack, Snafu struggles to comfort him.





	

When Sledge got the letter that his dog died, Snafu leaned in close, just close enough for their elbows to brush every so often. He comforted Sledge with words and gestures, and it somewhat worked.

Somewhat.

When Snafu’s company heard about Ack-Ack, though, that was an entirely different situation. Snafu didn’t really know Ack-Ack, but he was as shocked and upset as the next guy. When he looked around for Sledge however, his heart sunk as he watched the other man break down, tears streaming down his face as he buried his head in his hands.

Snafu couldn’t comfort him immediately, there were too many people.

Later that night, however, Snafu swung his legs out of bed and went to Sledge. The other man’s hands were trembling as he held a cigarette, the smoke wafting out into the evening sky as it slowly burned. Sledge had not taken a single drag.

Snafu set himself down gently next to Sledge on the cot. He side-eyed Sledge nervously. Sledge was staring at the moon, sitting as still as possible. Snafu said his name. 

“Sledge…”

Sledge dropped his head, shook the ash off of his cigarette, and took a drag, finally. He let the plume waft out of his mouth. He didn’t look at Snafu.

Snafu shifted closer to Sledge, and called his name again. 

“Sledge.” This time he placed his hand on his shoulder, holding on to him as he leaned in. 

The hand worked. Sledge spoke, his voice barely over a whisper. 

“I always thought-” 

He paused. Snafu was still. 

“ I always thought that if one of us survived, it would be him and not me.” 

“Sledge…”

“He was so strong, I just thought that he wouldn’t- that he couldn’t- die. He-” 

He paused again, took another shaky breath. Snafu could feel Sledge’s pulse through his shoulder. 

“He was like a father to me.” 

Snafu blinked once, tensing his shoulders. Something twisted in his chest.

“He was like a father to me, and now he’s dead.”

Sledge finally, finally turned his head, meeting Snafu’s gaze. His eyes were glistening with unshed tears. Snafu could see the moon in his eyes. 

“That’s the thing, Snafu.” He said, “none of the heroes make it through. None of the good men survive. But they’re the lucky ones. At the end of the day, they don’t have to live with the guilt.”

A silver tear, illuminated in the moonlight, ran down Sledge’s cheek. Snafu’s watched it fall. A small part of Snafu wondered what would have happened if he had wiped it away. 

“And we’re still here, at the end of the day.” Sledge’s voice broke. Snafu’s eyes flicked back up to Sledge. He was staring at the ground. He spoke one last time, in a soft voice soaked with pain,

 

“I’m still here.”

 

Snafu couldn’t think of anything other to do than to close the distance between them and wrap his arms around Sledge, pulling him close. Sledge dropped his head into the crook of Snafu’s shoulder, letting out a quiet sob as he buried his face into Snafu’s shirt. Snafu dragged one of his hands up Sledge’s back and cupped the back of Sledge’s neck, brushing against the soft hair on the back of Sledge’s head. He could feel the chain that held Sledge’s dogtags through his thin shirt. Snafu let out a deep breath and turned his head to that his mouth brushed against the top of Sledge’s head. It wasn’t a kiss. Snafu would have known if it was.

Snafu hoped that this hug, this embrace could express to Sledge what Snafu wanted to say but couldn’t. He hoped Sledge would understand. And, knowing Sledge, he probably would.

Snafu heard a gunshot in the distance, briefly reminding him where he was. he turned his gaze to the moon. It was a cloudless night. No air cover, Snafu thought absentmindedly. The moon was shining brightly, so brightly that Snafu could clearly see the gray craters that dotted and scarred its surface.

Snafu closed his eyes, felt Sledge’s warmth. Both men were still. All of their emotions, all of their feelings, were between themselves and the moon.


End file.
